Thursday, 6 March 2008

I am a (crap) pirate

I've got to be the crappest pirate there ever has been!!! Here I sit, dodgy back keeping me away from sailing the seven seas and a face as grumpy as can be. I couldn't even put my sodding pants on this morning without grunting and groaning like a heifer with a belly-ache. Grump-Grump-Grump...

I got conned into believing that if I took my fishy-burp pill with a meal that I wouldn't get fishy burps.. So I took it with one of Ronalds finest double sausage and egg Mcmuffins, with hash brown and largo black coffee (4 sugars).. Yey Ronald, food of champions (and the reason for my big belly) Guess what? Yup, got burps that taste like a mackerels arse! Who'da thought I'd be caught out by that old nugget? Yeah, thanks Minty!!!

I need to save face or my shipmates will mutiny my arse. So I think I'll go slap a kid and kick a dog or something. But not too hard or I'll hurt my back!


Yo ho diddly-dee, I am a pirate....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm did my advice include swallowing it down with mass produced high fat McPap? No it did not *gives very stern mum face* Try eating a nice healthy dinner! In fact why not give up the capsules and just eat the fish?

And for the future Mr Mole I have the following advice...if it has the words "mechanically recovered" in the ingredients list then it's not food. And don't give me that "I haven't seen the ingredients list" piffle. There are many things, such as the Holy Joley that don't need an ingredients list - you know way before you take the wrapper off that it's gonna be all kinds of bad for you.

Jackie said...

absolutely hilarious, just make sure when you burp next time, Im not in your house and youre not standing beside me hahah!