Sunday, 20 April 2008

Somewhere Else

Somewhere Else

My latest painting... Oil on Canvas 18x12....

I'm getting the urge to do an oil landscape.. I know, I'm crap at landscapes... Or is that crap at partings, or both? Hmmmm.. Maybe an oil landscape might turn out differently to a watercolour one.. Only one way to find out.. Watch this space..

Conspiracy theory

Ok... Now as much as I like the Welsh, is it a conspiracy that leads them to name their towns so the English can't say them? Bwlchgwyn!!! Worked there last week and had to stop and ask for directions!?! See my conundrum? How do you begin to pronounce a word that has zero number of vowels? How much of a dick did I feel when I got sniggered at by a wrinkly old timer, like I was a five year old.. Bwlch-y-Ffridd... Llwynderw... Seeing a pattern? Yup. They hate me at work. "Lets send him to some remote village in the mountains, where sat-navs don't work and they don't have shops to ask for directions in..... That'll teach the bugger a lesson!" The only place I haven't worked, and would dearly love to but it doesn't exist is Pant-y-fan...... Yes.... I am ten years old!!

Friday, 4 April 2008

Farewell Paris.. tick-tick-tick-tick BOOM

Last night I blew up Paris with a feckin' huge nuclear bomb. Why? who knows, but I really enjoyed it. I even let some odd spoddy chap borrow my extension lead because they were running a bit short. It was all very English too, the survivors formed orderly lines to get treated without complaining. I felt all warm and fuzzy that I'd melted so much of the city, so proud.. Funny thing is, it's my favourite city in the whole world.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, Sally is dreaming about hamsters with huge knackers.!?!

So far I've noticed bugger all effects from the omega3.. Memory is still half that of a goldfish, knees still rustier than a rusty thing in rustytown and I'm Still butt ugly.. Give it another month.. Maybe if I grow breasts I could see that as a huge plus... C cup would be nice.

Almost got knocked out by a bumble bee today.. It mistook me for a flower, easy mistake to make... If....
  1. You aren't wearing your glasses
  2. You like really crap flowers
  3. You are a numpty