Lickin' dog sick

Had a great time at Lola's party last weekend. Hurtling headlong into her dotage now she is. I was the designated driver so drank quarts of orange juice, my innards are still recovering! Good food, good music and good company, what more do you need.. Maybe a sparkly silver loo seat. Rosie is still talking about it, I feel like a failure as a father because ours match the suite colour, not a dot of glitter in sight. Maybe I should do something to rectumfy it....

I'm not what you would call the life and soul of the party, I like to sit and listen to what others have to say... And with so many different people from different backgrounds I was struck dumb.. Such interesting people. I got good lurk... But bugger all photo's cos I forgot my camera.. Sigh.

Some friends last us a lifetime, some are shite. It seems we have an abundance of both at the moment. Lola's a keeper... Others will fall by the wayside, I'd rather lick dog sick than keep crap friends, I'm too old to faff about wasting my time with them....

Wrestling with spitting monkeys

We visited the 'folks up north' yesterday. My baby sister's 40th is loomin' like a slug in a black tiara and she had the nerve to 'celebrate' it the cheeky cow!! I'm 46 and don't need my face rubbing in it thank you very much. I did enjoy seeing my family together again after a few years, though I could have done without seeing a couple of them... Namely my father in all his piety! Haven't spoken to him in ten years, and after he completely blanked his Granddaughter last night.... Who he has never met... It may very well be another ten. Turns out he also thought it best not to invite my other sister for some good for nothing reason... Still likes to make judgements on people...

My brother looked good, a few more lines here and there but the lucky bastard hasn't put on a scrap of weight... And our Ange, my favourite sibling who I have a huge squishy soft spot for, looked great.. Finally met her daughter 'wee Ruthie' after years and years... By eck has she shot up!! She was being a miserable emo last time I visited and had her door nailed shut... Last time I saw her she was eight. Dave's son is huge too, again, he was about eight when i saw him last... Ten years don't half change a person.

The best thing about the visit was the complete lack of traffic!! And... With a judicious misuse of the speed limit we managed to escape back to normality in an hour and three quarters and well away from bad memories old and new. Trouble is.... My memory is shite and any new memories tend to drift away on the breeze.

Iron Maiden stole my brain

I lay in bed trying to sleep.... wooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.... So I lay in bed trying to clear my brain... woooooooooooooooooooooh. So then I turned over and got comfy on that side... wooooooooooooooooooh... What the hell was that noise? Then it hit me.. My hearing was screwed.. I smiled... The evening was perfect. I drifted off to sleep.

We had just been to Twickenham to see Iron Maiden, their only UK gig this tour.. And was I blown away by one of the best rock bands of the last 25 years? OH HELL YES!!! I have never experienced an atmosphere like it or felt 55,000 people all singing their hearts out vibrate through me like a pulse.



I'm getting the urge to get a mullet.. Fighting the urge! Fighting the urge!! Losing.. Losing. Phoning the barbers.......... Catching sight of myself in the mirror. Balder than a badgers arse!! Deep sadness... Plenty of party, but bugger-all business up front..



My hearing is back to normal now, but I don't think I'll ever be the same again...

Rock on..

Dead fish and the smell of unwashed poets

It's been a while since I blogged, for which I am sorrowful and maudlin. I've been in a place for a while now that I need to break free from. I don't have much incentive or inspiration which isn't much use for a budding artist is it..? Anyway.. Thank you and bigfatstinkyhugs to Lola for tagging me and getting me back into blogging...

Three things that Sally knows about me.....

1: I own, and can use quite usefully, a sewing machine.. I had to learn when I was a punk rocker because you simply couldn't buy off the shelf clothes back then. So I taught myself to alter, take in and embelish my own. Which in turn led me to be able to make my own curtains, lined of course.

2: I will eat ANYTHING!!! (part of my problem right there!!) except Stilton Cheese and any kind of cheese sauce. Cheese sauce is in fact the food of the devil and only evil beings, demons and women can eat the stuff without vomiting.

3: I once ran away from home when I was about fourteen. In order that they wouldn't be able to recognise me or put my picture in the paper I took all my mums photo's of me!! Good move or what? Ha-ha!! No bloody flies on me... Ok, I only got about five miles, set up my tent... Got bored then went home.....


Hmm... I don't really have any readers, so I can't say I can pick three.... Ho hum..




Here are the rules:

The UU must list the three things their husband (or wife) (or significant other) knows about them.

The rules of this UU are posted at the ENDING of the post.

At the end of the post, the player then tags a randomly chosen number of people and posts their blog names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged. The comment must end with the word 'pthththth'.

Somewhere Else

Somewhere Else

My latest painting... Oil on Canvas 18x12....

I'm getting the urge to do an oil landscape.. I know, I'm crap at landscapes... Or is that crap at partings, or both? Hmmmm.. Maybe an oil landscape might turn out differently to a watercolour one.. Only one way to find out.. Watch this space..

Conspiracy theory

Ok... Now as much as I like the Welsh, is it a conspiracy that leads them to name their towns so the English can't say them? Bwlchgwyn!!! Worked there last week and had to stop and ask for directions!?! See my conundrum? How do you begin to pronounce a word that has zero number of vowels? How much of a dick did I feel when I got sniggered at by a wrinkly old timer, like I was a five year old.. Bwlch-y-Ffridd... Llwynderw... Seeing a pattern? Yup. They hate me at work. "Lets send him to some remote village in the mountains, where sat-navs don't work and they don't have shops to ask for directions in..... That'll teach the bugger a lesson!" The only place I haven't worked, and would dearly love to but it doesn't exist is Pant-y-fan...... Yes.... I am ten years old!!

Farewell Paris.. tick-tick-tick-tick BOOM

Last night I blew up Paris with a feckin' huge nuclear bomb. Why? who knows, but I really enjoyed it. I even let some odd spoddy chap borrow my extension lead because they were running a bit short. It was all very English too, the survivors formed orderly lines to get treated without complaining. I felt all warm and fuzzy that I'd melted so much of the city, so proud.. Funny thing is, it's my favourite city in the whole world.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, Sally is dreaming about hamsters with huge knackers.!?!

So far I've noticed bugger all effects from the omega3.. Memory is still half that of a goldfish, knees still rustier than a rusty thing in rustytown and I'm Still butt ugly.. Give it another month.. Maybe if I grow breasts I could see that as a huge plus... C cup would be nice.

Almost got knocked out by a bumble bee today.. It mistook me for a flower, easy mistake to make... If....

1. You aren't wearing your glasses
2. You like really crap flowers
3. You are a numpty